The disease of more.

*A lecture to myself, so when I say "you", I am actually talking to myself.

I put a full plate in front of my two year old for lunch. She glanced at it and before she had even taken a bite she yelled, "more please!" It stopped me for a moment and I had to ask myself, how often do I yell for more when I have a full plate right in front of me? I have struggled learning to find sincere gratitude for what I have, and to not allow what I lack to destroy my happiness. I also know my tendency to always want more of anything good. If it makes me feel good, I want more. As the wise Britney Spears sang to me in junior high, "I can't get no satisfaction." (calm down, I know The Rolling Stones sang it first, but my loyalties remain with Brit.) Always wanting more destroys your ability to develop gratitude, and in turn kills all potential for lasting peace.

When you always want more, you don't see what you have. Focusing on the deficits in your life creates such a vacuum of negativity. You literally become blinded to all good, because you manage to turn it into bad. Sure it's fine, but it could be better. No thing, person, or experience is ever enough. Cue the downward spiral of relationships. People thrive from feeling like they are enough, like they are truly accepted. You aren't able to give them that approval when you only want more. 

When you always want more, you procrastinate happiness waiting for something that will never come. You might think you will be happy when you get a house, make more money, lose more weight, get to take a vacation, have a better wardrobe, or get more naps, but you won't. You could be handed your every desire on a silver platter and guess what? It wouldn't be enough, you'd still. want. more. (I highly encourage napping at every chance though.) This is the biggest issue. Convincing yourself you will be happier when a circumstance changes is simply a lie you tell yourself to justify ungrateful behavior.

When you always want more you get yourself in trouble. The advertising industry thrives from people like you. They play to your areas of dissatisfaction, and tell you they have a way to fix it. You buy it. The craziest part is that you can actually fully convince yourself that you need x,y, or z to be happy instead of looking inward to see peace and satisfaction are intrinsic traits that can never be achieved through circumstances. There aren't enough donuts in the world to change your happiness. There is no vacation long enough to bring you peace. Nothing will ever be enough for you.

When you always want more, happiness is fleeting, So you finally get what you want, and you were right! It feels amazing. For a minute. Then you quickly find a reason why is just isn't enough. You move on through your list, wanting the next thing, or sometimes just the bigger, better version of what you just got. For some reason you can't see the pattern of wanting, getting, and still not feeling happy or satisfied. The moments of fleeting happiness convince you that getting what you want IS what you need. It DOES make you feel better. When that feeling quickly fades you blame it on needing more, rather than recognizing you simply can't acknowledge the full plate in front of you.

When you stop wanting more, even an empty plate somehow becomes enough. You start to see everything differently. The world looks different, life looks better, but reality hasn't changed. You have. The people around you suddenly become inspirational and amazing rather than lacking and unreliable. You start to feel sincere, authentic gratitude for what you have, and you quit entertaining thoughts of what you are without. You set goals and work for them from a place of positivity. You still hope for houses, vacations, and naps, but your happiness doesn't depend on them. You take responsibility for your behavior and your happiness. You no longer allow life to control you. You find a place of unwavering peace. You learn to turn what you have into enough, whether it actually is or not. 

xoxo Julie